I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Im part way to drunk.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
