i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
