Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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