Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
