im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
