if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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