I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize