toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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