wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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