i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize