It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
