no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
