we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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