he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
