so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
