WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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