rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
