I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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