I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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