yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think I won the penis lottery.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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