I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
