I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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