Is it normal to miss your booty call?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
