This is not my ceiling
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
