Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
