what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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