I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
