I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
