he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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