she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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