Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
