is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
