That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
