Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
