saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it was like eating out sand paper
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
