We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
