Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize