wakey wakey hands off snakey
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
this must be what syphilis tastes like
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
