What did we do last night that was yellow?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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