I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
