I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize