before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
