ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
They took my balls.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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