pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
