I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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