when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she peed on how many people?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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