i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
