Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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