Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
