Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
