guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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