The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
