My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She told me I should be a condom model.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
