Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
