hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
