toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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