Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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