There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Randomize
