So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
