The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
