I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
