Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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