I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize