why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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