he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize