I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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