woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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