I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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