I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
