OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
farters have to be the big spoon...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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