I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
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