ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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