with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i've created a new STD.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
