so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
