I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You are a genius and a whore.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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