Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
