Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
