dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
