dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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