I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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